Le problème des vacances

004Salut vous,

Je suis en deuil de mes vacances. Les vacances, c’est un sérieux problème chez moi. Déjà, quand je suis en vacances, je mets au moins une semaine à déconnecter du travail, à arrêter de regarder mes mails compulsivement, à stopper les prises de tête quotidiennes sur ce qui m’attend en rentrant etc. Après, quand je commence à en profiter vraiment, commencent également les questionnements existentiels du genre « Mais pourquoi je mène cette vie ? Mais pourquoi je vis en ville ? Mais pourquoi je travaille dans une énorme entreprise dans laquelle je suis seulement un pion parmi tant d’autres ? POURQUOI ? POURQUOI ? POURQUOI ? ». Puis après, ca commence à sentir déjà la fin des vacances. Donc les derniers jours, j’en profite pas. Je stresse du retour et de la reprise. Bref, au final, tout ce joyeux bordel pour être sereine dans ma tête une petite poignée d’heures sur deux semaines de vacances. BA FRANCHEMENT CA FAIT CHIER.

En fait, les vacances, c’est tellement bien, que ça me fait péter un plomb (ouais jsuis une meuf vachement équilibrée). Y a des gens qui savent en profiter hein, sans se poser de questions. C’est ça le but au final. Mais moi je me pose trop de questions, TOUT LE TEMPS. J’ai un cerveau sur le point de cramer de surchauffe tellement je le tords dans les sens en permanence, le pauvre. J’ai ce problème sur absolument tout en fait. Mais surtout, sur la vie en général. Par exemple, je suis une énorme angoissée de la mort. Et souvent, ça me pourrit la vie et les pensées de manière assez violente. Parce que j’aime tellement la vie, que la simple pensée de la mort me rend folle. Voilà, c’est la même chose pour les vacances. Toujours avoir peur de la fin, TOUJOURS, ne jamais savoir profiter du moment. BREF.

Vous l’aurez compris, les vacances, c’était cool.



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