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PETITES FIERTES

Hola les gaaaaaaaaars,

Le petit article du lundi matin en direct du TGV, histoire de bien faire chieeeeeer tout le monde en tapant hyper vite sur les touches. QUOIIII VOUS VOULIEZ DORMIR ? VOUS AVEZ QU’A DORMIR LA NUIT ! D’AUTRES QUESTIONS ?

Non en vrai je suis de bonne humeur hein. Je me suis levée à 6h, je suis arrivée à la gare TRENTE MINUTES avant le départ de mon train, je suis dans le wagon juste à côté du bar, le soleil briiiille (bon par contre je suis dans le sens inverse de marche du TGV, ça, ça me contrarie, du coup j’ai l’impression que l’arrière de mon corps va à Paris mais que l’avant rentre à Lyon) (JE NE SUIS PAS BIZARRE, JE SUIS DIFFERENTE) BREF.

Bilan du week end? Plusieurs petits points de fierté que j’aimerais ici étaler avec vous. Samedi matin, dès le réveil (Réveil à 12h, mais peu importe) (Putain y a une meuf dans le train qui tape plus vite que moi, elle, je vais me la faire) (En mode BATTLEEEEEE) BREF, donc samedi matin, ni une, ni deux, j’ai enfilé mes baskets et je suis allée COURIIIIIIR. La dernière fois que ça m’était arrivé c’était pour attraper mon train ou pour être première dans la file du Burger King… Je ne sais pas courir, je n’aime pas courir, je n’arrive pas à courir, mais putain je vous vois tous là sur les réseaux sociaux avec vos photos de courses, de parcours, de marathons, de médailles, de blablabla, ça me rend ouf, alors moi j’ai envie de courir aussi, je me dis que JE PEUX COURIR AUSSI, je pense à Forrest Gump et je me dis que si le type il a couru pendant des jours sans s’arrêter je peux le faire aussi puis après je pense à sa barbe qui pousse sans relâche au fur et à mesure qu’il court et je me dis que putain, j’ai pas envie que ça me fasse ça sous les bras quoi, donc bon, au final, j’ai couru vingt minutes quoi. Mais moi je suis fière de moi déjà dans la prise d’initiative. Je commence déjà à adopter votre jargon sportif histoire de faire genre. J’ai envie de dire des trucs du genre « Non mais moi ma prochaine sortie ça sera pour faire du fractionné » ou « Ah ouais pas mal mais ça manque de dénivelé ». C’est fou comme je trouve que ça sonne maaaaaal dans ma bouche dès que j’aborde le champ lexical du sport. Alors que quand je dis des trucs du genre « Viens on mange un camembert rôti avec un Saint Joseph » ba tout de suite, ça me colle mieux à la peau hein.

Ca, c’était le premier point fierté. On applaudit ou pas ?

Deuxième petit point fierté : je n’ai PAS commandé à manger du week-end. Pour la plupart des gens normaux ça ne semble pas extraordinaire. Pour moi, c’est fou. INOUI même. Toutes les excuses généralement sont bonnes pour que je commande un bon gros truc bien fat que je vais casquer 30 balles. Et puis bon, quand c’est le week end, à chaque excuse que je peux trouver, je rajoute dans ma tête un « Puis bon, c’est le week end… » et ni une ni deux, je me retrouve à commander trois kilos de chicken butter ou un couscous géant. Avant quand j’étais en couple, c’était encore pire. Il suffisait que l’un des deux commence la phrase « Est-ce-qu’on commanderait pas… » pour que l’autre se jette sur son téléphone et commande un buffet pour quinze. Maintenant que je suis célibataire, je dois m’en remettre à mes petites voix dans la tête. Elles sont sympas aussi hein, mais en ce moment, elles sont plutôt en mode « Bon écoute déjà tu vas arrêter de passer ta vie à bouffer comme une grosse vache, puis tu vas un peu bouger ton cul pour faire du sport » « ET TU VAS GARDER UN PEU TON ARGENT POUR ECONOMISER ET INVESTIR DANS LA PIERRE » (Ca, c’est la voix de mon père) « C EST PAS COMME CA QUE TU VAS TE TROUVER UN MARI » (La voix de ma grand-mère) « PAR CONTRE EST-CE QU ON SE MANGERAIT PAS QUAND MEME UN CHEESECAKE ? » (La voix de ma mère)

Troisième point de fierté : JE SUIS ALLEEEEE A LA LAVERIIIIE. Oui ma machine à laver est en panne mais je le prends avec le sourire, ça me fait ma petite expédition du week-end, c’est sympa. Puis bon, les excursions laverie, c’est autant de chance de faire des rencontres sympathiques hein. Déjà, je trouve ça plutôt rassurant, rencontrer un mec à la laverie, ça commence plutôt bien : déjà le mec il lave ses vêtements quoi. Et oui, chaque petit détail compte.

Bisous les gars et belle journée ♥

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