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J’AI PERDU 12 KILOS

OUH LE TITRE RACOLEUR!!! On dirait un pop-up pour une video « Comment gagner 3500€ en trois minutes sans rien faire »

BON. On va parler sérieux un peu là. Ca fait plusieurs mois que je veux faire cet article et que je rechigne un peu comme une pleurnicharde en me cherchant des excuses pour ne pas le faire. Depuis que j’ai perdu du poids, je suis obsédée par ma ligne. Et je me suis dit que c’était mieux d’attendre de ne plus faire une fixation dessus avant de vous en parler. Puis j’ai réalisé que ça n’arriverait jamais, que je ferais toujours une fixation, que putain y’en a marre de traîner sur Instagram et de voir toutes ces bombasses sans cellulite et sans graisse (ça, c’était avant de savoir que les ¾ retouchaient leurs photos) (naïveté…) BREF, j’en suis arrivée à la conclusion que le poids idéal pour moi c’est : le poids qui me fait sourire le matin lorsque j’enfile un jean même si j’ai du mal à fermer le bouton après avoir mangé une raclette, le poids qui me donne l’occasion de partager des bonnes planches de fromage et des bons verres de vin avec mes amis, le poids qui a peut-être quelques capitons en trop mais chaque capiton c’est un souvenir : celui-là c’est le souvenir de mon abonnement à la salle de sport payé pendant cinq ans pour y aller deux fois, celui-là c’est un hommage à ma passion pour le Mcdo, celui-là c’est le capiton du « Flemme de prendre l’escalier, je prends l’ascenseur ».

VOILA. J’ai eu besoin de faire cet article maintenant là à cet instant précis pour me remotiver aussi un peu, parce qu’au lendemain des vacances et à l’arrivée de la saison des raclettes, j’ai tendance à manger n’importe comment et j’ai besoin de me rappeler de tous les efforts faits pour en arriver là. Alors je vais vous raconter ma petite histoire, je vais vous raconter comment j’ai perdu mes douze kilos (ET COMMENT JE LES AI REPRIS) (NON JE DECONNE) (J’AI DU EN REPRENDRE DEUX/TROIS OUI…)

Le déclic

Ca faisait quelques années que j’avais pris du poids, que je continuais à en prendre, que j’étais mal mais que je me complaisais là-dedans. Voilà, c’est con hein, mais ça me rendait triste et quand je suis triste, ba je bouffe de la raclette, ça me réconforte. Deux ans de tristesse comme ça et je peux vous dire que les kilos se sont vite accumulés. J’ai tenté des tonnes et des tonnes de régime, des trucs trouvés sur internet, des trucs payants, des compléments alimentaires, bref, plein de conneries, sauf que je n’avais pas la patience, je n’avais pas la motivation, et au bout de quelques jours je lâchais l’affaire et je bouffais dix fois plus pour rattraper les calories perdues… FAIL. Puis un jour, c’est très bête mais je me suis regardée dans le miroir et je ne me suis pas trouvée jolie. Alors attention hein, n’interprétez pas mal ce que je dis, je dis pas qu’on ne peut pas se trouver jolie avec des rondeurs, bien au contraire, mais moi, dans ma tête, dans ma peau, je ne m’aimais pas, je ne me trouvais pas jolie. Oh et puis de toute façon peu importe ce que je peux écrire, dès que ça touche au poids, je sais que c’est sensible mais bon, j’ai juste envie de dire ce que je pense vraiment en fait, donc les gens qui se sentent vexés pour un oui ou pour un non : OUT ! (la meuf qui se braque d’avance tsais) (non parce que je sens d’avance les commentaires du genre « tu véhicules un message négatif comme quoi on ne peut pas s’assumer avec des kilos en trop blablabla ») (NON JE VEHICULE LE MESSAGE QUE : « j’étais pas bien dans ma peau parce que je bouffais 5000 calories par jour donc j’ai décidé d’arrêter les conneries ») Enfin voilà, ça m’a rendu triste de ne pas me trouver jolie. En fait, je ne connaissais plus la sensation que ça faisait de se trouver jolie. Je savais plus ce que ça faisait de voir quelqu’un me regarder dans la rue et me dire « Tiens, il me regarde parce qu’il me trouve jolie ». Moi je me disais « Tiens il me regarde parce que je dois avoir un bout de pomme de terre sur la joue ». Bref, à partir de ce jour-là, la satisfaction de bouffer trois paquets de Curly et quatre gaufres au petit-déjeuner ne me suffisait plus, j’avais besoin de la satisfaction de voir mon sourire dans le miroir.

Pas de régime miracle

Je me suis largement inspirée du régime Dukan pour maigrir mais je l’ai adapté à mes envies et à mes besoins. J’ai jamais vraiment eu l’impression de faire un régime. Et c’est pour ça que ça a marché, en fait. Je pense qu’il faut trouver un rythme qui vous convient. Et surtout pas vous forcer à bouffer des trucs que vous aimez pas. Ca parait con mais moi j’ai souvent voulu suivre des régimes miracle, genre le régime « Soupe aux choux » où tu bouffes que de la soupe pendant trois jours. Sauf que putain, je déteste la soupe. Les régimes où tu dois te forcer pour manger, c’est pas bon. Ca marchera jamais. Si t’es frustré, ça marche pas.

La première semaine

Moi, j’adore la viande, j’adore les œufs, j’adore la charcuterie, j’adore le salé de manière générale. C’est pour ça que commencer par un régime hyper-protéiné, ça me semblait le mieux pour moi. Si vous détestez ça, ça sert à rien de vous forcer. Mieux vaut faire une détox à base de fruits ou de légumes. Moi, le but de cette première semaine, c’était vraiment de me désintoxiquer du gras et de la mal-bouffe et de me donner un bon départ. C’est motivant parce qu’au bout d’une semaine j’avais déjà perdu plusieurs kilos. Après, ça stagne un peu plus, mais de sentir que ton corps est capable de perdre du poids, c’est bête, mais ça motive. Y a des moments c’était un peu compliqué mais je me foutais des autos coups de pied au cul en me disant « Ca va meuf, ça fait presque 30 ans que tu bouffes du beurre de cacahuète à même le pot tous les jours, tu peux bien faire un break d’une semaine »

Les trois premiers jours c’est l’horreur. Mais voilà, une fois qu’ils sont passés, tu sais que la semaine est bientôt terminée, ça passe. Par contre oui, pendant une semaine je me suis fait violence. Pas d’apéro avec les potes, pas de croissant au bureau au ptit déj, pas d’excès, pas un seul. Ca parait très restrictif et tout le monde me disait « Allez c’est bon c’est pas un gâteau qui va te tuer ». Bah oui c’est sûr, mais moi j’ai surtout besoin de faire ça pour me challenger et pour me faire violence, pour prendre le dessus sur mes envies et sur mes pulsions. Pour être maître de moi-même, en fait, c’est tout.

Perdre du poids sur le long terme

J’ai perdu très rapidement la première semaine et ensuite, ça s’est fait plus lentement. Je pense que ça s’est étalé sur six mois. Ca parait long, je sais, on a toujours envie de faire des régimes express et de tout perdre en un mois mais c’est une mauvaise idée. C’est mauvais pour la santé et putain pour le moral…c’est un enfer. Pour continuer à perdre sur le long terme, je me suis remise à manger normalement mais plutôt équilibré et à me faire un repas sur deux avec uniquement des protéines (exemple : le midi je mangeais un plat de pâtes puis le soir seulement une omelette au jambon). Comme la perte de poids me motivait sur la balance (oui, je sais, c’est pas important les chiffres mais quand même…) régulièrement je me faisais des journées très light. J’arrivais à le faire parce que je savais que si j’avais envie de craquer, ba je pouvais, c’était pas grave, du moment que je compensais après. C’est un truc vraiment très bête mais moi si j’avais foiré tous mes régimes avant c’est parce que dès que je faisais un gros excès (genre un énorme Mc Do un midi) et ba le soir, je me disais « Bon ba foutue pour foutue…autant manger un Burger King maintenant hein… » CA C’EST UNE PUTAIN DE GROSSE ERREUR. Le « Foutue pour foutue » il faut l’oublier. Ok t’as mangé de la merde le midi mais si tu te fais une petite soupe le soir, on dira qu’on a rien vu hein. Et c’est comme ça que petit à petit j’ai réussi à perdre du poids tout en me permettant des excès régulièrement et puis surtout, petit à petit, je n’ai même  plus eu tant envie que ça de faire des excès. C’est simple, à partir du moment où tu sais que tu ne t’interdis pas de manger une crêpe ou une raclette si t’as envie, l’envie devient moins obsédante. Quand tu suis un régime restrictif où tu sais que tu ne peux manger que tant de grammes de poulet le midi tant de grammes de carottes le soir, tu te mets à rêver de tout et n’importe quoi. Genre de trucs que d’habitude t’aimes même pas quoi. OH LA LA JE REVE DE MANGER DE LA PUREE DE CAROTTE ET DES CHOCOS BN. Tout ce que je dis ça paraît vraiment tout bête mais c’est un état d’esprit à adopter pour réussir à perdre sur le long terme. Ca vient petit à petit, et il ne faut surtout rien lâcher.

L’état d’esprit

En fait cet article c’est pas pour vous dire « Il faut manger ça » « Il faut pas manger ci », c’est plus pour vous expliquer l’état d’esprit à adopter pour y arriver. Moi, je sais que la bouffe, les restos entre amis, les apéros, c’est ça qui me rend heureuse. Me priver de tout ça pendant plusieurs mois, c’est pas possible. Alors faire un régime où tu dois suivre des menus imposés pendant plusieurs mois, c’est NON. Ca m’énerve, ça me frustre. J’ai préféré pendant plusieurs mois faire très attention sur la moitié de mes repas pour ensuite pouvoir me faire plaisir quand l’occasion se présentait. Généralement c’était lundi/mardi/mercredi repas très lights, ensuite du jeudi au dimanche je me faisais plaisir tout en essayant de faire au moins un repas light par jour. Pour ma part, le repas light, c’était des protéines. Parce que j’aime ça et que c’était pratique pour moi. C’était généralement poulet/viande des grisons ou omelette ou pavé de saumon. Ca peut sembler répétitif et chiant mais quand tu vois que ta silhouette commence à ressembler à la silhouette de tes rêves (enfin vaguement hein…) et que tu penses que le week-end tu vas te faire une méga raclette-party avec tes potes et ba tu bouffes ton pavé de saumon ou ton poulet avec le sourire en te disant que ce n’est que partie remise.

Le regard et le jugement des autres

Le plus dur au final j’ai l’impression que c’est les autres. Surtout au travail. Les régimes au boulot, c’est hyper compliqué. Moi je sais qu’au travail on mange souvent tous ensemble le midi et tout le monde regarde ce qu’il y a dans l’assiette de l’autre et y va de son petit commentaire. « Encore un McDo ???? » « Euh moins de sauce sur la salade hein sinon ça sert à rien de manger de la salade » « Et ba, tu vas pas t’étouffer avec ça… » Je ne jette la pierre à personne car moi la première j’ai du me permettre à plusieurs reprises de juger les gens alors que je n’avais pas à le faire. Suite à mon expérience, j’essaie de faire attention et…de m’occuper de mon (gros) cul.

Moi pendant des mois et des mois j’ai eu le droit à « Encore du poulet ? Mais t’en as pas marre de rien bouffer ? » ou « Non mais tombes pas dans l’extrême non plus » ou encore « Non mais Clarisse elle bouffe plus de toute façon elle veut perdre un os ». OK LES GARS STOP. Vous allez me prendre pour une tarée mais à plusieurs reprises je me suis sentie obligée d’aller me claquer un énorme McDo juste pour leur dire « Voilà vous voyez que je bouffe ! C’est bon ??? » J’ai très mal supporté tous ces commentaires et tous ces jugements. Et le pire c’était sûrement quand on me proposait par exemple un morceau de cookie ou un morceau d’éclair au chocolat juste « pour goûter » et que je refusais poliment (enfin poliment avec moi…ça ressemblait à « Tu m’emmerdes lâche moi… »). On me répondait toujours « Oh ca va exagère pas quand même… » MAIS PUTAIN j’exagère pas mais juste en fait ça ne m’intéresse pas de manger un bout de ton éclair juste pour le goûter. Je sais le goût que ça a un éclair. Moi si je mange un bout de ton éclair, je bouffe dix éclairs en fait. Manger juste un bout, je m’en branle complètement, ça va juste me frustrer plus qu’autre chose. Voilà, ça ça fait partie des combats du quotidien : les autres. Je pense que ça continuera à me poursuivre là où je bosse en tout cas car les gens ont eu l’habitude de me voir avec beaucoup plus de kilos et maintenant que je suis plus mince, ils se permettent toutes les réflexions du monde, qui sont soi-disant des réflexions « bienveillantes ». De la gentille phrase « Tu vas vraiment t’enfiler tout ça ? » quand j’ai envie de manger quatre gâteaux à « Ah ça y’est t’es reparti en mode gras… » en passant par « Bon ba si tu manges un McDo ce midi tu viens pas te plaindre après hein… ». C’est débile mais les autres en fait, ça a été la partie la plus dure à gérer. Devoir toujours tout expliquer, répéter les choses dix fois, me justifier. Une dernière pour la route ? LE COCA ZERO PUTAIN. J’ai entendu dix mille fois par jour « Euh non mais par contre tu veux perdre du poids mais tu bois  du coca zéro, t’as pas compris je crois… » et ba BREAKING NEWS LES GARS, j’ai perdu douze kilos en buvant du coca zéro tous les jours. Alors oui c’est de la merde pour la santé, c’est dégueulasse, c’est une horreur, mais NON, ça ne fait pas GROSSIR.

Je me suis un peu énervée sur la fin là ça se sent non ? PARDON.

Compenser

Il y a beaucoup de « Moi » et « Moi je » dans cet article, désolée, je parle de mon expérience qui est une expérience personnelle donc forcément, je vais pas parler de moi à la troisième personne hein. Mais bon voilà, c’est pas pour tout ramener à moi hein, c’est juste pour vous faire un retour d’expérience, c’est tout.

Bref, si je dois résumer ce « régime » maison c’est en gros : six mois de compensation. Tu fais un excès, tu compenses. C’est ce que j’essaie de continuer à faire pour stabiliser. Je sais que ces derniers mois j’ai un peu perdu la foi et je me suis remise dans le « Foutue pour foutue… » mais en écrivant ces lignes, ça y’est, je me rappelle du chemin parcouru et je vais reprendre de bonnes habitudes. Et essayer de m’en foutre un peu des autres.

Un an plus tard

Ca fait maintenant un an que j’ai perdu ce poids. Ma vie a beaucoup changé depuis. Il y a toujours des imperfections sur mon corps que je ne supporte pas. Mes poignées d’amour. Même au plus bas de mon poids (50kg pour 1m65) elles ne s’effacent pas. Il paraît que seul le sport pourra les estomper mais voilà, encore un truc où j’ai besoin d’un déclic. Je ne me trouve toujours pas « très mince » mais je m’aime bien. Voilà, il y a des jours où je me déteste, comme tout le monde, mais au global, je m’aime bien. J’ai repris surtout le goût de m’habiller pour me mettre en valeur au lieu de la torture de m’habiller pour cacher mes défauts. Le shopping, ce n’est plus la même chose. Avant c’était « Ah non ça on va voir mon cul » « Ah non ça on va voir mon bide », maintenant je m’habille pour mettre en valeur ce qui me plait chez moi (MES BOOOOOBS) (Pardon..) Bref, je ne peux pas tout vous raconter par ici, mais perdre ce poids ça a vraiment transformé toute ma vie. Je me suis ouverte au monde (quelque fois pour lui dire d’aller se faire foutre, mais quand même, c’est une ouverture hein) et je me suis mise à avoir confiance en moi. La confiance en moi, c’est pile ce qui me manquait pour prendre en main ma vie et mon avenir. Je ne pense pas que j’aurais pu le faire en continuant à me cacher sous des vêtements larges et en me levant le matin sans sourire.

Faites ce que bon vous semble pour vous regarder dans le miroir le matin et vous sourire, c’est tout.

Love & cheese. 

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2 918 Comments

  1. Quand je te vois en photo, tes 12 kgs en plus ne paraissent pas du tout!!! j’étais loin de croire qu’avec ta jolie silhouette tu avais des soucis de ce type, j’ai des soucis de santé et suis à l’heure actuelle un régime sans résidu aussi je me venge sur les biscottes beurre et comment te dire que ma balance n’aime pas du tout et moi avant tout, j’ai pris 6 kilos en peu de temps et ne me supporte plus et comme j’aime les bonnes choses cela n’arrange rien, je vais me reprendre en main sérieusement dès que ce régime sera fini, et à côté de ton régime as tu fait du sport et si oui lequel s’il te plait? merci en tout cas pour le partage de ton expérience

  2. Bravo pour cet article ! Le jugement des autres on s’en balec. Au boulot, c’est tellement chiant de devoir se justifier (comme avec son entourage en fait). J’ai pris quelques kilos vers 17/18 ans et vers 20 ans je me suis “reprise en main” mais j’étais bien dans mon corps. Ce sont les autres qui m’ont fait sentir ma prise de poids. C’est là que j’ai fini par faire une fixette dessus et qu’est ce que ça peut nous gâcher la vie. Bref, aujourd’hui je m’assume complètement et beaucoup peuvent dire que je n’ai pas de quoi me plaindre. Mais en fait on traine tous nos complexes à la con ou de vieux souvenirs de remarques mal placés. Bref, moi et mes fesses capitonnées te souhaitons une bien belle soirée ! Et, au passage, tu es canon meuf <3

  3. Super cet article ! Tes mots me font prendre conscience qu’ Il va vraiment falloir que je me remette au sport lorsque je reprends les cours !
    C’est motivant en tout cas ❤️

    Gros bisous ma belle,

    Manon http://www.shadybird.fr

  4. Excellent article! On dit souvent que l’avis des autres ne nous touchent pas mais en réalité, c’est faux ça blesse. Je suis au régime, même si je déteste prononcer ce mot, c’est une réalité de plus. J’ai pris beaucoup de poids et depuis des années, je me complaisais à en prendre pourtant manger trop (trop gras, trop sucré et trop salé) me rendait triste mais je me réconforter à coup de calories supplémentaire – un cercle vicieux -. Les premiers jours, voir les premières semaines, étaient difficiles. J’avais une mauvaise expérience de régimes frustrants et de l’effet yoyo. Je ne comprenais pas l’effet “déclic” dont tout le monde parlait. Je ne l’ai pas eu – enfin je crois -. J’ai pris conscience que manger – enfin trop manger – ne me rendait ni heureuse ni complètement libre du regard des autres – et principalement du regard de mon médecin -, j’avais même oublié le goût des aliments et même la sensation de la faim. Je mangeais par gourmandise, habitude et pour me réconforter.
    Entre temps, j’ai changé de médecin, et ce dernier m’accompagne dans ce changement.
    Je suis au régime sans avoir l’impression de l’être, je m’autorise des écarts (parce que je suis une pure et dure gourmande) mais je mange mieux et je perds du poids. Le sport qui était ma plus grande honte m’a permis de me sentir plus heureuse.

    BREF tout ça pour te dire que je te soutiens dans ta démarche et que je comprends ce que tu as pu vivre.
    Note à moi-même: Apprendre à être compréhensible et rédiger des commentaires plus courts ;D

    Bon dimanche!

  5. Très bel article ! Rien à dire de plus à part merci ! Et ce qui fait vraiment plaisir, c’est de savoir que tu as retrouvé le sourire du matin !
    Prends soin de toi ! Des bises !

  6. Des kilos perdus, des kilos vite regagnés ,)

    1. Oui effectivement j’en ai perdus 12 et j’en ai repris 4 😉

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