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Hola les gaaaaaaaars,

Et une fois de plus, l’été est passé… Aujourd’hui dans ma vie j’en suis au stade où j’ai hâte d’avoir des enfants juste pour pouvoir faire les COURSES DE RENTRÉE !!! Bordel mais j’aimais tellement ça, sérieux… L’odeur du cartable neuf, la trousse remplie de stylos neufs, l’agenda tout neuf et toutes ces bonnes résolutions que je prenais à chaque rentrée. De 6 ans à 18 ans, je me suis toujours promis le 1er Septembre que mon cartable/sac à dos resterait rangé jusqu’au 30 Juin. Que j’écrirais mes devoirs proprement dans mon agenda. Que ma trousse resterait dans un état absolument parfait. Deux semaines plus tard, c’était toujours le même bordel… La trousse remplie d’épluchures de crayons et recouverte de mots des copines au blanco. Les devoirs griffonnés sur un post-it ou sur un morceau de peau. Le cartable rempli de CD 2 Titres, de jouets, de billes, d’emballages de kinder bueno… AH NOSTALGIE QUAND TU NOUS TIENS !

Bon, aujourd’hui, il y a encore un truc qui me rappelle l’odeur de la rentrée des classes, c’est l’odeur de l’intérieur d’une voiture neuve. Mais le jour où je changerais de voiture aussi souvent que de stylo 4 couleurs est encore bien loin, les gars… Puis rien ne m’empêche d’aller m’acheter un nouveau cartable en fait, y a pas marqué qu’à 30 ans on a pas le droit d’avoir un cartable hein ! (HASHTAG POIVRE BLANC) (HASHTAG DIDDLE) (HASHTAG KANGOL). Vous savez quoi, je me souviens pas vraiment de mes rentrées mais alors celle de la 6ème, je m’en rappelle comme si c’était hier. Mon dieu, j’avais travaillé au corps ma mère pendant tout l’été pour qu’elle m’offre une sacoche Doc Martens, à 199 Francs chez Monoprix. Elle était si classe, avec le dessin d’une semelle jaune immense dessus. Il me la fallait absolument pour survivre. Et super Mum a fini par craquer, après trente-huit menaces de défenestration. J’ai eu ma sacoche trop stylée !!!!! Je me souviens encore de l’excitation que j’avais à l’idée d’aller à mon premier jour de collège avec autant de classe… Je portais mon crop top préféré bleu hyper moulant avec mon pantalon en lycra pattes d’éléphant, d’une classe folle aussi. Mes Fila toutes neuves. ET MA SACOCHE DOC MARTENS !!!! Je me croyais dans un film américain et j’étais persuadée d’être la meuf la plus cool de tout l’univers. Autant vous dire que l’ensemble de ma scolarité a ensuite été marqué par une succession de choix et de décisions pratiquement tous aussi improbables que cette sacoche affreuse.

Maman si tu lis cet article, je te présente mes plus sincères excuses de t’avoir fait claquer 199 Francs. Et aussi, Papa, Maman, vous avez bien fait de résister et de ne jamais m’acheter d’agenda Diddle à 59 Francs, franchement, ça les valait pas.

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