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TU DOIS AVOIR TROP HATE, NON ?

Tu dois avoir trop hâte, non ?

Voilà les gars, quand t’es enceinte de 8 mois, cette phrase est le new « Et alors le boulot ça va ? » ou « Et les enfants, c’est pour quand ? ».

Une question vraiment à double tranchant. C’est un peu comme le « Comment ça va ? ». Les gens s’attendent à ce que tu répondes « Ça va super ». Si tu réponds « ça va pas du tout », ça les déstabilise totalement et ils perdent leurs moyens. J’ai souvent été un vilain petit canard à répondre volontairement à côté des questions pour voir si la réponse intéressait vraiment les gens.

Puis maintenant, je suis une adulte, je réponds dans les clous. Quand on me demande si j’ai hâte, je dis « OUI GRAAAAAVE » en prenant une voix un peu débile et niaise. Je ne vais pas rentrer dans les détails, en vrai. Parce que la vérité, c’est que la réponse est faite de nombreuses subtilités. Oui, j’ai hâte de serrer cette petite perruche que j’aime déjà tellement dans mes bras, bien sûr. J’ai hâte de réaliser tout ce que l’on projette à 3 depuis un moment. Mais en même temps, je l’aime tellement dans mon ventre, ce bébé, tout près de moi, à sentir tous ses mouvements, à le protéger, à être tellement connectée avec lui. Je l’aime tellement dans mon esprit, aussi. À imaginer à quoi ressemblera son petit nez, comment sera sa petite bouche, quelles formes auront ses petits yeux, comment seront ses petites mains (bon j’ai déjà quelques éléments de réponse…apparemment ses mains auront cinq doigts chacune, son nez sera un petit morceau avec deux narines, sa bouche aura deux lèvres et ses yeux seront en forme d’yeux, quoi…). Oui, j’ai hâte, mais j’ai aussi peur de l’inconnu. Comme un saut à l’élastique, en fait. On a hâte de sauter dans le vide, oui, mais on est aussi bien tout en haut, au bord de la falaise, à faire doucement connaissance avec le vide avant de plonger dedans. NORMAL, T’AS VU !

Et puis surtout, moi je suis bête et disciplinée. On m’a donné une date d’ETA, c’est comme pour un colis quoi. Je sais que c’est pas du tout une science exacte le terme, mais dans ma tête, je me suis projetée sur une date. Alors s’il se pointe trois semaines avant, ça risque de me déstabiliser. Je veux dire, c’est comme quand t’invites des gens à dîner à 20h. T’es contente à l’idée de les voir, mais s’ils arrivent à 19h, ba c’est quand même un peu chiant parce que les quiches ne seront pas cuites, quoi. Vous voyez ce que je veux dire ? Non hein, personne ne voit ce que je veux dire ? Voilà, c’est pour ça que je réponds toujours « Oui, oui, j’ai hâte ». C’est plus simple. 

C’est pas une histoire de hâte, c’est surtout que j’ai encore envie de l’attendre un peu, de le désirer encore, de l’imaginer. C’est passé si vite, finalement. Et puis surtout, j’entame mon neuvième mois de grossesse et c’est probablement la première fois que je me sens aussi sereine. Je vais bientôt atteindre le stade fatidique de la 37ème semaine : pour ceux qui ne savent pas, c’est en gros le moment où le bébé est à terme et qu’il peut sortir sans être considéré comme prématuré. Le soulagement, finalement. Après tous ces mois à avoir peur de tout, à culpabiliser, à attendre impatiemment tous ses mouvements, toutes les échographies, toutes les visites de contrôle. 

Aujourd’hui, sur ma dernière ligne droite, je suis enfin sereine. Alors ouais j’ai mal au dos et mes collants roulent sous mon ventre, c’est très chiant. Mais au-delà de tout ça, j’ai l’esprit tranquille, serein et je peux vivre ces dernières semaines pleinement. Alors bordel, pourquoi j’aurais hâte qu’on me retire tout ça pour me foutre une charlotte sur la tête, avoir les fesses à l’air dans une blouse moche et manger des plateaux repas pas bons pendant trois jours ? (la meuf pète un câble) (pardon).

Le moment de la rencontre sera unique, magique, puissant. GRAVÉ DANS LA ROCHE (Je peux accoucher sur du Sniper, please ?). C’est sûr. Mais ce moment est bien là où il est, s’il vous plaît : dans un mois.

 

J’imagine bien le coup du sort, au moment où je clique sur « Publier », paf, je perds les eaux. T’IMAGINES ?!

 

Plouf.

PS :  Si vous êtes dans mon entourage et que vous m’avez déjà posé cette question une, cinq ou vingt fois, je vous aime quand même hein ♥ c’est pour rigouuuuuler, je suis pas méchante !

♥ Shop le look en cliquant sur les images ou les légendes ♥

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