Mode

Folle histoire!

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HOLAAAAAA !!

J’entreprends d’écrire cet article dans l’avion alors qu’il ne me reste que 22% de batterie sur mon ordinateur mais la prise de risque, c’est ça aussi ! La prise de risque c’est aussi de tenter de travail sur son ordi dans l’avion ET de manger leur plateau repas en même temps ET de boire un verre de coca, dans un espace personnel très réduit de quelques centimètres carrés.Et généralement, quand je me plains de l’espace dans l’avion, y a toujours des gens grands qui me répondent « Et alors, pense à moi, avec mes jambes de deux mètres… » EUH NON BA TOI T’AS LA CHANCE D’ETRE GRAND DANS LA VIE DE TOUS LES JOURS, donc tu peux bien un peu souffrir de temps en temps quand tu prends l’avion, moi je fais 1mètre10 les bras levés et je suis petite chaque jour que Dieu fait DONC CA SUFFIT DE ME NARGUER. (Aujourd’hui on m’a dit que j’étais tendue, en fait je suis pas tendue, je suis juste folle…)

Bref, toujours commencer un article par dix lignes qui n’ont rien à voir avec le sujet de base, voici mon cheval de bataille dans la vie. Je voulais vous montrer cette parka. Mais genre je voulais vraiment vous la montrer puisque je l’ai déjà shootée il y a deux semaines, j’ai perdu ma carte SD avec le shooting dessus (folle histoire, j’ai perdu la carte SD alors que je prenais la carte avec moi en voyage pour avancer sur le blog…lol… BISOUS) (en plus je suis deg j’avais shooté un look en body –enfin, j’avais un pantalon hein- dans le froid glacial, autant vous dire que je suis pas prête de le refaire), j’ai racheté une carte SD, j’ai reshooté le look. Quoi ? Comment ça cette histoire n’est pas folle ? Oui bon, on s’en fout, tout ça pour dire que j’ai tardé à vous la montrer car refaire les trucs deux fois, ça me saoule. Alors moi en plus je voulais pas admettre que je l’avais perdue cette putain de carte. Je l’ai cherchée partout, partout, PARTOUT. Puis je me suis dit qu’un jour elle allait rejaillir. T’sais quand tu cherches pas un truc, on dit que tu finis toujours par le retrouver. Donc moi j’essayais de duper le destin en me disant dans ma tête « C’est bon, je la cherche plus » SAUF qu’au final, ba je  savais que je la cherchais encore et donc ça a pas marché. C’EST FOU comme l’univers sait tout, bordel. Là, maintenant, je la cherche vraiment plus. Donc je vais forcément la retrouver. Et ça va m’énerver. MOI QUI M’ENERVE JAMAIS. Et putain je suis en train de penser qu’il y a les photos de mon chien bébé sur cette carte SD. Et en disant ça je suis en train de penser que si ça se trouve c’est mon chien qui l’a bouffée la carte ! Comme mes chaussures ! Comme mes lunettes ! Comme ma télécommande ! Comme 36 rouleaux de PQ par semaine ! Comme ma culotte Aubade ! Lundi soir, je suis dans l’avion, je suis enervée contre mon chien.

ON EN VIENT AU SUJET DE L’ARTICLE. Ma parka. Elle est pas ouf sérieux ? Ma révélation de l’année 2016. Découverte d’une marque qui m’était totalement inconnue jusqu’à présent, BomBoogie. Gros coup de cœur pour cette grosse veste qui combine tout ce que j’aime : une énorme capuche en fausse fourrure, un intérieur en fausse fourrure, une fermeture zip, un super look…bref, le truc qui t’aide bien à passer la dure période de l’hiver (ça + la raclette + le vin blanc + le vin chaud) (putain du vin blanc chaud, vous croyez que ça peut être bon ?) Y a juste un truc qui me manque (et qui manque à toutes les parkas faites pour les adultes à vrai dire)  c’est les gants attachés au manteau. Non mais…sérieux…c’était pas génial ???

 Bon, après, si les gants c’était le seul truc que je perdais… non moi je passe ma vie à perdre des trucs et à les retrouver un jour quand j’en veux plus. Je suis une calamité. Le pire dans tout ça c’est que ça donne lieu à des embrouilles, tout le temps. Quand je perds un truc à la maison, le processus c’est généralement : me mettre à râler, à marmonner, à être désagréable, à chercher quelque chose en disant « Mais où je l’ai foutu ? » mais sans dire de quoi je parle t’sais. Jusqu’à ce que mon mec daigne s’intéresser à ce que je raconte. Ce qui n’arrive généralement pas parce que quand je m’énerve toute seule comme ça il préfère prendre le large. Donc ça m’enerve encore plus. Je me mets à gueuler. Je lui demande de m’aider à chercher. Sauf que bon, le message véhiculé quand je gueule ba ça donne pas forcément envie de m’aider. Et au final, peu importe comment on avance mais on en finit toujours par cette phrase « T’as qu’à ranger tes affaires » MAIS OUI PUTAIN ! Mais je l’ai rangé !!! Justement ! Je l’ai rangé ! Mais je sais plus où !!! Le soucis c’est pas que je veuille pas ranger mes affaires hein, c’est juste que j’ai AUCUNE logique de rangement. AUCUNE cohérence. Genre ranger une carte bleue dans un portefeuille, BA NON, trop simple pour moi, je préfère la ranger dans le pare-soleil de ma voiture…(histoire vraie…) Donc au final la conclusion de cette histoire c’est que je ne range plus rien. Merci. Bisous. Aurevoir.

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