Déco Maison

SWEET BEDROOM

Hola les gaaaaaaaaars,

Heureusement que je déménage tous les ans hein sinon niveau article déco je crois que je serais un peu à court de contenu. Ce que vous voyez sur cette photo, ce n’est pas une simple chambre. Ce que vous voyez sur cette photo, c’est :

Des désaccords concernant la localisation géographique de la ligne imaginaire qui sépare le lit en deux parties égales. Enfin, une partie égale à la place dont j’ai besoin, et une seconde partie égale à la place qu’il reste.
De la mauvaise foi lorsqu’on ne trouve pas un terrain d’entente concernant le premier point « Putain mais c’est pas moi c’est le chat qui prend toute la place » (oui en fait avec un chat, le lit est effectivement divisé en deux parties égales : la sienne et celle que nous, pauvres humains, devons nous partager sans trop bouger parce qu’après on le réveille et ça l’énerve)
Des heures de discussion pour savoir si on choisit un matelas à accueil ferme soutien mou ou accueil mou soutien ferme, ou complètement mou, ou complètement ferme, ou si on dort par terre en fait, ou si finalement on se séparerait pas tiens.
Des débats pour savoir si avec un lit queen size il faut prendre une couette de 240 ou de 260 de large alors que bon, à la limite, dans ces moments-là, je suis tout à fait pour le machisme et la réduction des femmes à leur état de ménagère et je clos le débat avec un simple « Laisse-moi faire, je suis une femme »
Des jours de paniers sur 40 e-shops différents pour trouver la meilleure combinaison de couleurs et de matières housse de couette/taies d’oreiller/traversins sachant que de toute façon un jour comme une conne je les laverai probablement à 90° avec des jeans noirs et tout finira de la même couleur
Des délibérations intenses concernant un sujet qui divise la société « TV ou pas dans la chambre ? ».
Un drame familial lorsqu’une nuit un cadre est tombé sur la tête de Patrick « Putain tu fais chier avec tes cadres tiens »
Des milliers de « Tu dors ? »
Des millions de tentatives d’exécution pour cause de ronflements
• Un rejet constant de la part de Patrick de mes pieds froids
Des rendez-vous palpitants le dimanche soir avec Bernard de la Villardière pour une immersion dans la Russie de Poutine ou dans la Tchtétchénie de Razam Kadyrov (Oui vous l’aurez compris : Patrick a gagné pour la TV dans la chambre)
Des polémiques concernant le nombre d’oreillers qu’il y a dans le lit. Il y en a 6, voilà, on est deux, c’est normal.
Pas que des querelles mais aussi des réconciliations mais on va pas trop développer ce point, bande de petits cochons !

Vous constaterez si vous me suivez depuis un petit moment que j’ai une énorme passion pour les murs de cadres et que chez moi, les murs n’ont aucun répit. Avant même de ranger le premier carton ou de remonter les meubles, tous les murs étaient déjà recouverts de cadres, comme pour oublier que des tonnes de bâtards de murs m’enfermaient. Ma deuxième passion pour aménager une chambre : la dégringolade d’oreillers. Très conflictuelle dans un couple, la dégringolade d’oreillers est pourtant particulièrement agréable pour se jeter dedans le soir. Mais il n’y a rien à faire, Patrick ne comprend pas comment faire dégringoler les oreillers. Structure pyramidale, placement en quinconce pour cacher les ouvertures, équilibre des oreillers sur le traversin, decrescendo d’oreillers par superficie : la dégringolade d’oreillers exige des compétences techniques accrues.

Hormis les oreillers, pour que ce lit où nous passons tout de même (attention calcul rapide) 1/3 de notre vie soit l’endroit le plus accueillant du monde, nous avons finalement trouvé un terrain d’entente sur un matelas ferme à ressorts avec accueil mou, en taille 160. Moi j’étais plutôt partante pour un 180 c’est donc naturellement que chaque nuit je décide de reprendre mes droits et d’envahir 90 cm du lit pour en laisser seulement 70cm à Patrick. L’option de la couette géante permet au moins de réduire certaines altercations. Certes, tu n’as pas de place dans le lit, MAIS, par contre, tu n’as pas de problème de couette. La couette, c’est ma grande passion. Je ne supporte pas de dormir sans couette et j’éprouve un intense plaisir à m’enrouler dedans tel un rouleau de printemps (sans crevettes). C’est tout naturellement que le choix de la couette s’est révélé être capital dans ma vie. J’ai opté pour une couette 240 x 260 tempérée, qui a des boutons pressions pour pouvoir associer une autre couette en cas de grand froid. Je l’ai shoppée sur le site La compagnie du blanc qui propose une large gamme de linge de maison et au moment où j’écris ces mots, je n’ai qu’une seule envie : me blottir dedans. Sauf qu’il est 8h32 (bon, je poste en différé hein…)et je suis dans le train donc autant vous dire que j’ai pas prévu de retrouver ma couette avant 48H… TRISTESSE. Bref, je vous prépare d’autres articles déco prochainement, j’espère que celui-ci vous aura plus et JE VOUS FAIS DES BISOOOOUS.

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